EMMETT KELLY: Emmett Smiles

There are A LOT of silly mistruths about Emmett Kelly that are obviously false but have nonetheless have repeated for so long that it's hard to believe that they are still being circulated on the clown convention circuit and by lazy newspaper reporters, but they are.

One is that Emmett Kelly always added a little black tear in the corner of his eye to his makeup after the tragic 1944 circus fire in Hartford. Oh yeah? Then why doesn't this legendary "little black tear" appear in any one of the six billion photos of Emmett taken in the years after? Does it appear in the films THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH or in his movie THE CLOWN AND THE KIDS? No, it does not. Next time someone tells you that one slap them hard for me.

Another is that Emmett never smiled in makeup and was never photographed that way.

See above, which looks staged but was reportedly taken when Emmett heard the news of the birth of his daughter, Stasia during his tenure as mascot for the Brooklyn Dodgers.

And another one bites the dust.

The funniest of all, I recently had a Shrine clown tell me WITH A STRAIGHT FACE that Emmett, knowing that he was dying, went to the doctor to see if there wasn't something to cure his growing depression. "Go to the circus and see Emmett Kelly, the famous clown. He's the funniest man in the whole world. He is sure to cheer you up." "But doc" said Emmett. "I am Emmett Kelly. Who is there to cheer me up?"

First of all, I've read this story in print in just about every book on clowning or circus that I've ever opened and it's never attributed to the same clown twice. I've heard that it was Grimaldi. I've heard that it was Grock. I've heard that it was Chaplin.

It's not a true story.

Second of all, Emmett hadn't worked steadily in circus for more than 20 years before he died. It had been quite a long time since Emmett had been a full-time circus clown that people expected to see at ANY circus, much less Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey (the one he is most associated with in the minds of the American public) which hadn't played Sarasota in many years.

Third of all, Emmett died suddenly of a massive heart attack while taking out the garbage at his home in Sarasota, FL. Even if he did realize that he was having a fatal heart attack and was consumed with depression at the thought of immenently facing his own mortality AND had the good fortune to meet a doctor somewhere in the middle of his own driveway on his way to the curb...WHAT DOCTOR WOULDN'T KNOW THE NAME OF HIS PATIENT?!? WHAT DOCTOR IN THE CIRCUS COMMUNITY OF SARASOTA FLORIDA WOULDN'T KNOW THAT HE WAS TREATING THE FAMOUS EMMETT KELLY?!?

And, of course, what kind of a respectable doctor keeps regular office hours outdoors in someone else's driveway? Much less that of a semi-retired circus clown? Even if it was just a walk-in clinic, what kind of money is there in something like that?

Fourth, what would stop Emmett from laughing at any one of thousands of comedians on film, on television on radio, on cassette tape, 8 track or LP or even opening the newspaper to the comics page? But because Emmett was a circus clown the assumption is that he could only be made to laugh by OTHER circus clowns?!? And that no clown was ever funny enough to make Emmett himself laugh?

This one is really beyond dumb. If someone tells you THAT one, slap them REALLY hard for me.